People on Pedestals
Paper Towns is a book about a boy named Q and his infatuation with his neighbor Margo. Q and Margo were friends many years ago but now Q just observes her from a distance. When Margo asks Q to come along one night to prank people in a spree of redemption, and then disappears the next day, Q is sure that she is some kind of goddess and all her acts have noble beginnings. The author, John Green, says he wrote the book specifically to combat what he calls the male gaze, which has been propagated in all romantic literature (see: "It is the East and Juliet is the Sun.") - men looking at women, instantly elevating them to heavenly proportions, and then being disappointed when they realize that they are just human.
The truth is, we are all Q in some sense. We see celebrities on t.v., we read about people in books, newspapers, and magazines, and we have an instant tendency to disproportion them into larger than life characters. We put people on massive pedestals and the great punch line is that we are personally offended when they inevitably don't live up to our expectations. We are naturally disposed to be all or nothing: we either "love" a person or despise them, there is no in between. Why are we so insistent in stuffing all these qualities into a single person and propping them up like mannequins in a show case? I think it is because we see something of ourselves and who we want to be in the future in these people. We need super heroes, someone to stealthily admire from far away, someone to use as a benchmark for all the things we want to fix in our lives. But I also think, all of us are a fine mixture of good and bad. We are all capable of being what we love and what repulses us. What if we became our own super heroes? What if we walked through life picking only the shining ripe cherries, snatching only the glimmering pearls and we put them inside ourselves? What if we really truly decided to introspect and became our own benchmarks? It is true that all of us are just human. But don't be misled by the just.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Stress-Culture?
The day stress comes into your life marks the day you begin your journey toward adulthood. No matter what generation, there is always some turning point at adolescence when stress becomes the most constant thing in our lives. This dark shifty knight follows us through adulthood, cripples our soul and spirit and withers away our bones. We live in a stress culture- stress is the most dangerous drug and we are addicted to it and can't free ourselves. We propagate it in all fields of life- through the media, through conversation, through actions. Stress is an indicator of success- you're so busy and stressed out? That's great you must be doing it right! You pulled an all-nighter? Wow, I wish I could do that! You're on your fifth cup of coffee this morning? That's fantastic. But there is a dangerous line to walk. Succumb to the the pressure, crumble under the weight, and fall swiftly out of the graces of society. It is a crucible we have voluntarily suspended over our heads, adding more and more weight, pulling it closer and closer to our bodies until we are squashed into nothingness. Scientifically, stress causes problems in all areas of our lives- sleeping, eating, social interaction... gone unchecked, stress can lead to high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. It can induce body pains, headaches, and illnesses. We are slowly killing ourselves.
Why? What for? "I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear..." wrote Thoreau in Walden. Stop whatever it is you are doing right now. Look out the window. See the rain pitter pattering down. See the dark green tree silhouetted against the deep gray sky. See it moving its branches, swaying this way and that, to accommodate for the blowing wind. Hear the rain as it pings down onto pavement. Hear the swoosh of the cars as they rush past through the puddles. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Feel your fingers and your toes wiggling. Imagine the stress leaving your body. How do you feel?
Why is it that we chase so fervently that which is not life? Why do we let our lives become the slaves of petty frivolities? Why do we burden ourselves with pain instead of setting ourselves free? What are you afraid of? What will happen when you stop being stressed? We can't escape from stress, we can't run away from it. But we can duck out from underneath it. We can refuse to expending our precious energy on that which does not matter. We are the masters of our own destinies.
The day stress comes into your life marks the day you begin your journey toward adulthood. No matter what generation, there is always some turning point at adolescence when stress becomes the most constant thing in our lives. This dark shifty knight follows us through adulthood, cripples our soul and spirit and withers away our bones. We live in a stress culture- stress is the most dangerous drug and we are addicted to it and can't free ourselves. We propagate it in all fields of life- through the media, through conversation, through actions. Stress is an indicator of success- you're so busy and stressed out? That's great you must be doing it right! You pulled an all-nighter? Wow, I wish I could do that! You're on your fifth cup of coffee this morning? That's fantastic. But there is a dangerous line to walk. Succumb to the the pressure, crumble under the weight, and fall swiftly out of the graces of society. It is a crucible we have voluntarily suspended over our heads, adding more and more weight, pulling it closer and closer to our bodies until we are squashed into nothingness. Scientifically, stress causes problems in all areas of our lives- sleeping, eating, social interaction... gone unchecked, stress can lead to high blood pressure, obesity, and diabetes. It can induce body pains, headaches, and illnesses. We are slowly killing ourselves.
Why? What for? "I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear..." wrote Thoreau in Walden. Stop whatever it is you are doing right now. Look out the window. See the rain pitter pattering down. See the dark green tree silhouetted against the deep gray sky. See it moving its branches, swaying this way and that, to accommodate for the blowing wind. Hear the rain as it pings down onto pavement. Hear the swoosh of the cars as they rush past through the puddles. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Feel your fingers and your toes wiggling. Imagine the stress leaving your body. How do you feel?
Why is it that we chase so fervently that which is not life? Why do we let our lives become the slaves of petty frivolities? Why do we burden ourselves with pain instead of setting ourselves free? What are you afraid of? What will happen when you stop being stressed? We can't escape from stress, we can't run away from it. But we can duck out from underneath it. We can refuse to expending our precious energy on that which does not matter. We are the masters of our own destinies.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Why I Write
A good friend came over to my house recently and we were having a quite deep conversation with all of our usual shenanigans interposed, of course. She was sitting leaned back in my spinny chair and I was sitting criss-crossed on my bed. It was early afternoon, the sky was blue in the window behind her, the sun was high. We somehow managed to meander into the topic of the one thing we do when we want to unwind and relax. She immediately answered that she plays the piano; I just as quickly responded that I write. The conversation brought forward a question to my mind and I have been thinking about it a lot since then. Why do I write? As far back as I can remember, I have always seen the world in words. And this is kind of a marvelous concept because what are words really, other than a fantastic human invention. I remember the summers as an eight or nine-year-old kid when I would go biking around my street. The street we lived on back then was a circle. I would race around and around that street rushing faster and faster as the stream of words in my head grew larger and more defined. Eventually, I'd have to run inside to scrawl whatever bits of poem I had stuck in my head into a little composition notebook that I called my "poetry journal". Back then, I was churning out poems as fast as the spokes on my bicycle wheels. Later, the red spiral bound diary that was home to the long, rambling, angst-filled, rage-ridden entries of a pre-teen; that was the only diary I have ever kept. In the middle of the night, after countless hours of tossing and turning with the perfect idea for a story, finally jumping up to turn on a light and find some paper and a pen. Half-crafted novels are sprawled around the house- in notebooks, journals, on loose-leaf, and on my laptop. Days will stretch by when I have the perfect idea for a piece to write but the words won't come out, tormenting me, and it's like trying to squeeze toothpaste out of an already empty tube. Every situation is a metaphor or a beautifully crafted analogy waiting to happen. My mind obsessively strings together words and shuffles and reshuffles them until they fit in perfect order. I believe every experience in life is a mixture of growth and reflection. These two aren't binary, rather they coexist. However, while we are constantly taking in huge sums of data, processing it all, and growing as people, we each have something special we do to reflect. The world is literally swamped with brilliant geniuses of writers; some who have passed away, some who continue to share their magic with us, and others who are yet to be discovered. I am ever inspired by these amazing human beings- my voice is tiny in comparison to theirs. Reading their words teaches me empathy, compassion, courage, and love. Writing my words shows me I care. I believe in the power of words to fuel change and heal souls. Nothing great was ever accomplished by a single voice. Rather, it is the glorious harmony of many voices chanting together that creates magic. I'll toss my voice in there with the rest of them, screaming as loud as I can. Will you join me? Why do you write?
A good friend came over to my house recently and we were having a quite deep conversation with all of our usual shenanigans interposed, of course. She was sitting leaned back in my spinny chair and I was sitting criss-crossed on my bed. It was early afternoon, the sky was blue in the window behind her, the sun was high. We somehow managed to meander into the topic of the one thing we do when we want to unwind and relax. She immediately answered that she plays the piano; I just as quickly responded that I write. The conversation brought forward a question to my mind and I have been thinking about it a lot since then. Why do I write? As far back as I can remember, I have always seen the world in words. And this is kind of a marvelous concept because what are words really, other than a fantastic human invention. I remember the summers as an eight or nine-year-old kid when I would go biking around my street. The street we lived on back then was a circle. I would race around and around that street rushing faster and faster as the stream of words in my head grew larger and more defined. Eventually, I'd have to run inside to scrawl whatever bits of poem I had stuck in my head into a little composition notebook that I called my "poetry journal". Back then, I was churning out poems as fast as the spokes on my bicycle wheels. Later, the red spiral bound diary that was home to the long, rambling, angst-filled, rage-ridden entries of a pre-teen; that was the only diary I have ever kept. In the middle of the night, after countless hours of tossing and turning with the perfect idea for a story, finally jumping up to turn on a light and find some paper and a pen. Half-crafted novels are sprawled around the house- in notebooks, journals, on loose-leaf, and on my laptop. Days will stretch by when I have the perfect idea for a piece to write but the words won't come out, tormenting me, and it's like trying to squeeze toothpaste out of an already empty tube. Every situation is a metaphor or a beautifully crafted analogy waiting to happen. My mind obsessively strings together words and shuffles and reshuffles them until they fit in perfect order. I believe every experience in life is a mixture of growth and reflection. These two aren't binary, rather they coexist. However, while we are constantly taking in huge sums of data, processing it all, and growing as people, we each have something special we do to reflect. The world is literally swamped with brilliant geniuses of writers; some who have passed away, some who continue to share their magic with us, and others who are yet to be discovered. I am ever inspired by these amazing human beings- my voice is tiny in comparison to theirs. Reading their words teaches me empathy, compassion, courage, and love. Writing my words shows me I care. I believe in the power of words to fuel change and heal souls. Nothing great was ever accomplished by a single voice. Rather, it is the glorious harmony of many voices chanting together that creates magic. I'll toss my voice in there with the rest of them, screaming as loud as I can. Will you join me? Why do you write?
Monday, August 24, 2015
A Brave New World
When the first humans appeared on this planet, it is said, change occurred very slowly. A human adult within the first few thousand years of human existence had no real sense of past or present or future. And, looking back, we applaud them for their technological and societal advancements that spanned thousands of years, crawling forward really, more than advancing. Today's world is far different from that. Change has truly become our only constant. All the characteristics that our ancient ancestors whetted to help define who and what we are as humans are being carefully dismantled by today's people. We are dehumanized, de-individualized; we are a carefully streamlined, conscientiously living breathing society. We are more connected, more aware of our problems, and more appreciative of our collective achievements. As today's adults stand knee deep in today's society, staring down at their smart phones, and shaking their heads at today's youth, they forget to remember how we feel. Because we are scared of this new world. We are homesick for the simplicity of our parents' childhood, our grandparents' childhood. We long for memories before our time, stories we had no part in, people long passed, and places long changed. We seek a place in this world but it is changing under our feet; yesterday's world is not today's and the place we thought we occupied has changed as well. Still, we are brave. This new world is scary but it is also fast, amazing, and wonderful in ways that used to be unimaginable. We stand shoulder to shoulder, today's youth, and we wield our swords and we each pick a battle. We are determined to make this new world ours. And when someone achieves one small victory, conquers one small challenge, we all rejoice. This world does not yet belong to us, we know, but it's not quite theirs anymore, either, and we'll fight for our place. Hopefully, we'll learn from their mistakes. Someday, we will write our own rules. But for now, it's still a brave new world and we are just beginning to poke our heads into the sunlight.
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom. I want sin." Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
When the first humans appeared on this planet, it is said, change occurred very slowly. A human adult within the first few thousand years of human existence had no real sense of past or present or future. And, looking back, we applaud them for their technological and societal advancements that spanned thousands of years, crawling forward really, more than advancing. Today's world is far different from that. Change has truly become our only constant. All the characteristics that our ancient ancestors whetted to help define who and what we are as humans are being carefully dismantled by today's people. We are dehumanized, de-individualized; we are a carefully streamlined, conscientiously living breathing society. We are more connected, more aware of our problems, and more appreciative of our collective achievements. As today's adults stand knee deep in today's society, staring down at their smart phones, and shaking their heads at today's youth, they forget to remember how we feel. Because we are scared of this new world. We are homesick for the simplicity of our parents' childhood, our grandparents' childhood. We long for memories before our time, stories we had no part in, people long passed, and places long changed. We seek a place in this world but it is changing under our feet; yesterday's world is not today's and the place we thought we occupied has changed as well. Still, we are brave. This new world is scary but it is also fast, amazing, and wonderful in ways that used to be unimaginable. We stand shoulder to shoulder, today's youth, and we wield our swords and we each pick a battle. We are determined to make this new world ours. And when someone achieves one small victory, conquers one small challenge, we all rejoice. This world does not yet belong to us, we know, but it's not quite theirs anymore, either, and we'll fight for our place. Hopefully, we'll learn from their mistakes. Someday, we will write our own rules. But for now, it's still a brave new world and we are just beginning to poke our heads into the sunlight.
"But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom. I want sin." Aldous Huxley, Brave New World
Sunday, August 9, 2015
What I've Learned This Summer
This summer has been an incredible one. I've gotten to meet amazing people, explore wonderful new places, and really grow as a person. The following are some lessons I've learned on my adventures:
1. Just like a pinch of salt brings out the sugar in a dish, a bit of time alone with your thoughts can help you enjoy your experiences more fully.
2. You don't have to know all the answers.
3. Finding the child within you will lead to true happiness.
4. There are very few things chocolate can't fix.
5. The world doesn't rest on your shoulders. Don't be afraid to share the weight with the people you love from time to time.
6. Be prepared for anything.
7. Don't sell yourself short. You're capable of a lot more than you think and even if you don't know how to do something you'll figure it out.
8. Never take your family for granted- they're the ones that will always have your back.
9. One of the best feelings in the world is knowing you've made an old friend smile, despite everything they are dealing with.
10. Take lots of pictures. And pose for lots of pictures. The memories captured will be priceless.
11. When you find the things you care about, go after them wholeheartedly. Your passions define who you are. Don't change that because of someone else's opinions.
12. You're young and invincible. Make the best use of that and don't forget it.
13. Always pack earphones and have good music ready.
14. A good book is the most faithful companion.
15. Yesterday's regrets have no part in today's joys. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.
16. Do the scary things. Nothing ventured is nothing gained.
Here's to countless more fantabulous times ahead! Let me know some of your favorite summer lessons in the comments :)
This summer has been an incredible one. I've gotten to meet amazing people, explore wonderful new places, and really grow as a person. The following are some lessons I've learned on my adventures:
1. Just like a pinch of salt brings out the sugar in a dish, a bit of time alone with your thoughts can help you enjoy your experiences more fully.
2. You don't have to know all the answers.
3. Finding the child within you will lead to true happiness.
4. There are very few things chocolate can't fix.
5. The world doesn't rest on your shoulders. Don't be afraid to share the weight with the people you love from time to time.
6. Be prepared for anything.
7. Don't sell yourself short. You're capable of a lot more than you think and even if you don't know how to do something you'll figure it out.
8. Never take your family for granted- they're the ones that will always have your back.
9. One of the best feelings in the world is knowing you've made an old friend smile, despite everything they are dealing with.
10. Take lots of pictures. And pose for lots of pictures. The memories captured will be priceless.
11. When you find the things you care about, go after them wholeheartedly. Your passions define who you are. Don't change that because of someone else's opinions.
12. You're young and invincible. Make the best use of that and don't forget it.
13. Always pack earphones and have good music ready.
14. A good book is the most faithful companion.
15. Yesterday's regrets have no part in today's joys. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.
16. Do the scary things. Nothing ventured is nothing gained.
Here's to countless more fantabulous times ahead! Let me know some of your favorite summer lessons in the comments :)
Saturday, August 8, 2015
The Slump
In middle school, I was an assistant teacher for our school's Homework Club. In addition to tutoring students, I would create lesson plans centered around homework management strategies. I remember one of the lesson plans I helped expand was one my mentor teacher had already done for many years. It was based on the book Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating by Brian Tracy. Tracy explains that the best way to stop procrastinating is by tackling your hardest task first; metaphorically, eating the frog first thing in the morning to get it over with. Each student got a bookmark with a frog on it and were asked to write down their "frog", the one task they needed to tackle immediately. Whenever there was a lesson at Homework Club, especially if I had helped to create it, I would try out the tricks that had been taught. The Eat That Frog lesson was no different. No one was more surprised than I when I found myself writing "Do something" on the bookmark.
My message to myself was an important one. It is not as if I was doing nothing: I still woke up every morning, finished my homework, fulfilled my extra-curricular responsibilities... Rather, I felt as if I was getting no where. I call this feeling the slump and, in my opinion, I experience it much too commonly for my personal taste. By nature, I am a do-er, always wanting to fix something or help someone. Every so often, usually right after things are going great, I'll get stuck in a vicious cycle of lots of ideas and no results. I'll run circles around myself before falling asleep at night. I'll spend all of my free time stressing out about meaningless things or finding bad ways of procrastinating and distracting myself. Sometimes, it seems like I have all these great plans but it is exhausting just to get through a normal day. These are the days when I think, "Do I actually have what it takes to be extraordinary, to make a difference the world?" The first push, the first product that pushes its way out of the slump is always the most painful. There will be many false starts. "Will it be enough? Will they like it? Am I being silly?" Venturing out fully, into the open, will take Herculean effort. But overcoming these slumps in life is not extraordinary. Acknowledging that these hurdles exist, that there are many more- possibly greater- hurdles that will follow and still pursuing your passions, still fighting for what you love; that's what makes someone extraordinary.
"I want to take over myself first but then, yeah, the world." Farkle Minkus, Girl Meets World
In middle school, I was an assistant teacher for our school's Homework Club. In addition to tutoring students, I would create lesson plans centered around homework management strategies. I remember one of the lesson plans I helped expand was one my mentor teacher had already done for many years. It was based on the book Eat That Frog!: 21 Great Ways to Stop Procrastinating by Brian Tracy. Tracy explains that the best way to stop procrastinating is by tackling your hardest task first; metaphorically, eating the frog first thing in the morning to get it over with. Each student got a bookmark with a frog on it and were asked to write down their "frog", the one task they needed to tackle immediately. Whenever there was a lesson at Homework Club, especially if I had helped to create it, I would try out the tricks that had been taught. The Eat That Frog lesson was no different. No one was more surprised than I when I found myself writing "Do something" on the bookmark.
My message to myself was an important one. It is not as if I was doing nothing: I still woke up every morning, finished my homework, fulfilled my extra-curricular responsibilities... Rather, I felt as if I was getting no where. I call this feeling the slump and, in my opinion, I experience it much too commonly for my personal taste. By nature, I am a do-er, always wanting to fix something or help someone. Every so often, usually right after things are going great, I'll get stuck in a vicious cycle of lots of ideas and no results. I'll run circles around myself before falling asleep at night. I'll spend all of my free time stressing out about meaningless things or finding bad ways of procrastinating and distracting myself. Sometimes, it seems like I have all these great plans but it is exhausting just to get through a normal day. These are the days when I think, "Do I actually have what it takes to be extraordinary, to make a difference the world?" The first push, the first product that pushes its way out of the slump is always the most painful. There will be many false starts. "Will it be enough? Will they like it? Am I being silly?" Venturing out fully, into the open, will take Herculean effort. But overcoming these slumps in life is not extraordinary. Acknowledging that these hurdles exist, that there are many more- possibly greater- hurdles that will follow and still pursuing your passions, still fighting for what you love; that's what makes someone extraordinary.
"I want to take over myself first but then, yeah, the world." Farkle Minkus, Girl Meets World
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Radiating Positivity
The other day, I was walking with my brother when I pointed something out and said, "That's pretty." If you are familiar with today's normal sibling teasing, you can probably predict his response: "Your face is pretty." Usually, it doesn't work as well- if I had said instead "That's ugly" or "That's gross", I would have gotten a similar response but with the replaced adjective. It was like fast-acting karma, and it made me come to an important realization. The universe sends back to you what you put out. If you emit positivity, you will receive positivity in return.This concept of a "mirrored" universe, one that reflects our minds, is not new. However, understanding this concept can change our whole perspective on life. Anger is the stick of dynamite too close to the lantern. All it takes is one tiny leap of flame, one small agitation, and we explode. Often, we explode at those we love most. We assume that because they love us, they will be able to "deal" with us. This action can have debilitating consequences. Anger spreads like wildfire, growing more violent the longer it is allowed to continue. It crumbles relationships and destroys happy memories. Making a conscious effort to radiate positivity, to smile instead of yell or compliment instead of criticize, in the end benefits us and those around us. In this day and age, our words and actions hold more weight than ever before. A 140-character rant, a six second burst of rage, or a video taped temper tantrum can all literally be viewed by millions of people within hours. I recently read a wonderful story: a fifth grade teacher gives her students tubes of toothpaste and other such containers. She asks all her students to empty out the containers as best as possible. After they are done, she's asks them to put back the contents into the containers; the students try hard but, obviously, ultimately fail. The teacher tells the students, "Words are like that. We often get caught up in the moment and say cruel things. But once a word comes out of your mouth, you can not put it back in." As Dr. King once famously said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that." Be a light to those around you. Radiate positivity.
The other day, I was walking with my brother when I pointed something out and said, "That's pretty." If you are familiar with today's normal sibling teasing, you can probably predict his response: "Your face is pretty." Usually, it doesn't work as well- if I had said instead "That's ugly" or "That's gross", I would have gotten a similar response but with the replaced adjective. It was like fast-acting karma, and it made me come to an important realization. The universe sends back to you what you put out. If you emit positivity, you will receive positivity in return.This concept of a "mirrored" universe, one that reflects our minds, is not new. However, understanding this concept can change our whole perspective on life. Anger is the stick of dynamite too close to the lantern. All it takes is one tiny leap of flame, one small agitation, and we explode. Often, we explode at those we love most. We assume that because they love us, they will be able to "deal" with us. This action can have debilitating consequences. Anger spreads like wildfire, growing more violent the longer it is allowed to continue. It crumbles relationships and destroys happy memories. Making a conscious effort to radiate positivity, to smile instead of yell or compliment instead of criticize, in the end benefits us and those around us. In this day and age, our words and actions hold more weight than ever before. A 140-character rant, a six second burst of rage, or a video taped temper tantrum can all literally be viewed by millions of people within hours. I recently read a wonderful story: a fifth grade teacher gives her students tubes of toothpaste and other such containers. She asks all her students to empty out the containers as best as possible. After they are done, she's asks them to put back the contents into the containers; the students try hard but, obviously, ultimately fail. The teacher tells the students, "Words are like that. We often get caught up in the moment and say cruel things. But once a word comes out of your mouth, you can not put it back in." As Dr. King once famously said, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that." Be a light to those around you. Radiate positivity.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)