Candles
Have you ever thought about what makes a good candle? When you walk into a candle store, the candles lined up on shelves and tied up in burlap bows, how do you know that the candle you choose will be a good candle? Not only should it "smell" nice or "look" nice but also should truly possess the qualities that make a candle worth owning. I decided to make a checklist for the next time I go candle shopping. A good candle will spread light and warmth simply by existing. A good candle will bend and sway to invisible forces but not be overcome by them. It will serve selflessly because only through sharing its life will it ever be really useful. A good candle sees with an unprejudiced eye yet will soften the edges of anything that asks in its glow. Artificial lights are harsh and scrutinizing but a candle asks no questions. A good candle has self-control. It does not become emboldened by passion nor consumed by ego like its wild cousin the fire. A good candle is content and at peace. It is also a good host -- unwaveringly inviting and attentive. A good candle shows not only what is but what could be -- playing delicate shadow films over barren walls. A good candle forces you to confront your fears. It tells stories, each molten layer a piece of the past. A good candle is a gift. Not many candles at the shop will meet these criterion, but the ones that do will surely be worth having.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
Sixteen Reflections from a Sixteen-Year-Old
In less than an hour, I'll be sixteen years old. I've heard it's supposed to be an important number. You know how, when you were a little kid, you'd stick your tongue out to taste the tip of your ice cream cone, just slightly dulling the point? Put in one toe into the swimming pool to test the water? I think sixteen is a little something like that. You're just old enough to realize how many countries you haven't visited yet, how many people you haven't talked to, how many stories you can't yet tell , and how many stars you haven't yet counted... And in that realization, you earn an ounce of wisdom. So I thought tonight I'd share with you sixteen personal reflections. Maybe it will remind you of what it felt like to be sixteen.
1) I am attracted to the beautiful, meaningful, and raw. And sometimes my curiosity and ambition will lead me to prick my fingers against the thorns. But once out of a million, I will discover something truly wonderful.
2) I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. What I think is the end of the world today is just another reason to wake up and try harder tomorrow.
3) No matter how hard I try to push them away, my family will always have my back and be there when I need them most.
4) Sometimes, I am too hard on myself. It's okay if I can't save the world today as long as I keep going.
5) I am brutally honest and sometimes that can push people away. But that's okay because honesty is a part of who I am and the people who need to be here will stay.
6) Self-confidence is the greatest weapon. Humility is the best coach.
7) Invite both the voice in your heart and the voice in your head over for tea. You can't make a decision without one or the other.
8) Be loud, be weird, and most importantly be yourself. The world needs one of you; don't try to be someone you're not.
9) Make good friends then keep them close. They're the power boost you will need to get over life's obstacles.
10) Read books that make you wonder. Drink tea not coffee. Go on walks and lie on the grass and smell the roses. Watch sunrises and sunsets. Listen to music. Make it a priority to take care of your soul.
11) Never lower the expectations you set for yourself. People will doubt and question you and it's your job to not listen.
12) It is always better to be happy than to be right. Stand up for what you believe in but pick your battles wisely.
13) Always be compassionate and caring, regardless of how hard the world tries to make you. There is always good in people. Keep your ears and heart open at all times.
14) Whenever you do something, ask yourself whether or not you are truly satisfied. If not, change your attitude or find something new.
15) Always stay up to date on the latest news and what is happening in the world. Knowledge is powerful.
16) I might be an idealist, a dreamer, unrealistic and that's all right.
In less than an hour, I'll be sixteen years old. I've heard it's supposed to be an important number. You know how, when you were a little kid, you'd stick your tongue out to taste the tip of your ice cream cone, just slightly dulling the point? Put in one toe into the swimming pool to test the water? I think sixteen is a little something like that. You're just old enough to realize how many countries you haven't visited yet, how many people you haven't talked to, how many stories you can't yet tell , and how many stars you haven't yet counted... And in that realization, you earn an ounce of wisdom. So I thought tonight I'd share with you sixteen personal reflections. Maybe it will remind you of what it felt like to be sixteen.
1) I am attracted to the beautiful, meaningful, and raw. And sometimes my curiosity and ambition will lead me to prick my fingers against the thorns. But once out of a million, I will discover something truly wonderful.
2) I am a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. What I think is the end of the world today is just another reason to wake up and try harder tomorrow.
3) No matter how hard I try to push them away, my family will always have my back and be there when I need them most.
4) Sometimes, I am too hard on myself. It's okay if I can't save the world today as long as I keep going.
5) I am brutally honest and sometimes that can push people away. But that's okay because honesty is a part of who I am and the people who need to be here will stay.
6) Self-confidence is the greatest weapon. Humility is the best coach.
7) Invite both the voice in your heart and the voice in your head over for tea. You can't make a decision without one or the other.
8) Be loud, be weird, and most importantly be yourself. The world needs one of you; don't try to be someone you're not.
9) Make good friends then keep them close. They're the power boost you will need to get over life's obstacles.
10) Read books that make you wonder. Drink tea not coffee. Go on walks and lie on the grass and smell the roses. Watch sunrises and sunsets. Listen to music. Make it a priority to take care of your soul.
11) Never lower the expectations you set for yourself. People will doubt and question you and it's your job to not listen.
12) It is always better to be happy than to be right. Stand up for what you believe in but pick your battles wisely.
13) Always be compassionate and caring, regardless of how hard the world tries to make you. There is always good in people. Keep your ears and heart open at all times.
14) Whenever you do something, ask yourself whether or not you are truly satisfied. If not, change your attitude or find something new.
15) Always stay up to date on the latest news and what is happening in the world. Knowledge is powerful.
16) I might be an idealist, a dreamer, unrealistic and that's all right.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Adulting
I realized I was adulting when I put away a pair of shiny five inch heels in exchange for more practical shoes. I also realized it when I was stuck with a group of teenagers in the middle of Nashville with an Uber app but no credit card. Or again when we were stranded at a Cook Out fast food joint with no ride, no phone battery, and greasy onion rings. My parents like to make fun of me; they tell me growing up was hard for everybody and I'm not the first person to do it. But I really do have the vague impression that perhaps I am not cut out for this. Perhaps I am like the Titanic, young and proud with dreams too big for my own good. At some point, someone drags us to market, tells us to trade in make-believe for sensibility. It's like driving away from a childhood home: if I turn my head ever so slightly, I can glimpse myself running around in my mom's work pumps, frilly skort, and rainbow sunglasses. I can see myself scribbling away in journals of lined paper, the Creator of my own worlds. All I have to do is turn the steering wheel a little and I could go back to all of that. But oh look -- that's something that's new now. I'm the one sitting behind the steering wheel. Someone convinced my parents to let me drive and here I am weeks away from my license and that magic number -- my 16th birthday. And what about that college tour to the school 8 hours from home with a good pre-med program? When I was younger, growing up was easy. It was going to the mall or movies with your friends or being able to use the stove or not having a bedtime. But now I have all those things and I'm not quite sure what that means. Where do I go from here? Taxes and 401k's and calcium supplements? I guess I'll let you know when I figure it out...
I realized I was adulting when I put away a pair of shiny five inch heels in exchange for more practical shoes. I also realized it when I was stuck with a group of teenagers in the middle of Nashville with an Uber app but no credit card. Or again when we were stranded at a Cook Out fast food joint with no ride, no phone battery, and greasy onion rings. My parents like to make fun of me; they tell me growing up was hard for everybody and I'm not the first person to do it. But I really do have the vague impression that perhaps I am not cut out for this. Perhaps I am like the Titanic, young and proud with dreams too big for my own good. At some point, someone drags us to market, tells us to trade in make-believe for sensibility. It's like driving away from a childhood home: if I turn my head ever so slightly, I can glimpse myself running around in my mom's work pumps, frilly skort, and rainbow sunglasses. I can see myself scribbling away in journals of lined paper, the Creator of my own worlds. All I have to do is turn the steering wheel a little and I could go back to all of that. But oh look -- that's something that's new now. I'm the one sitting behind the steering wheel. Someone convinced my parents to let me drive and here I am weeks away from my license and that magic number -- my 16th birthday. And what about that college tour to the school 8 hours from home with a good pre-med program? When I was younger, growing up was easy. It was going to the mall or movies with your friends or being able to use the stove or not having a bedtime. But now I have all those things and I'm not quite sure what that means. Where do I go from here? Taxes and 401k's and calcium supplements? I guess I'll let you know when I figure it out...
Friday, June 10, 2016
Learning to Feel
Emotions are tangible. They are real; they cloud your judgement and make you feel like walking around with your head in your hands. For a long time, I refused to validate my feelings, pretending that if I couldn't exactly put something into words, it must not exist. Writing has always been cathartic for me but lately I see that I have also allowed it to become limiting. Because, ultimately, there are a whole range of emotions that don't fit perfectly into twenty-six letters and I need to be okay with that. I need to be all right with experiencing rather than understanding all the time. And maybe, someday, I will get the maturity and distance to put those emotions into words. Or maybe not. But the truth is, I have been disowning my emotions for too long, deeming them unfit to acknowledge because there are people out there that are smarter than me, wiser, and more experienced. I've been telling myself that the only reason I cannot understand something is because I am not trying hard enough when, in reality, some things are not meant to be deciphered, sometimes the answer is none of the above. So, yes, maybe I will never have all the answers about myself. I am a work in progress; that is the way it is supposed to be. And, I am working on forgiving myself but it is a journey, not a destination.
Emotions are tangible. They are real; they cloud your judgement and make you feel like walking around with your head in your hands. For a long time, I refused to validate my feelings, pretending that if I couldn't exactly put something into words, it must not exist. Writing has always been cathartic for me but lately I see that I have also allowed it to become limiting. Because, ultimately, there are a whole range of emotions that don't fit perfectly into twenty-six letters and I need to be okay with that. I need to be all right with experiencing rather than understanding all the time. And maybe, someday, I will get the maturity and distance to put those emotions into words. Or maybe not. But the truth is, I have been disowning my emotions for too long, deeming them unfit to acknowledge because there are people out there that are smarter than me, wiser, and more experienced. I've been telling myself that the only reason I cannot understand something is because I am not trying hard enough when, in reality, some things are not meant to be deciphered, sometimes the answer is none of the above. So, yes, maybe I will never have all the answers about myself. I am a work in progress; that is the way it is supposed to be. And, I am working on forgiving myself but it is a journey, not a destination.
Sunday, June 5, 2016
Finding Purpose
Finding Dory comes out this summer and I'd like to take a moment to remember one of Dory's most iconic lines from Finding Nemo: "When life gets you down do you know what you got to do? Just keep swimming!" That's right Dory, just keep swimming... but wait! How will we know if we are just swimming in circles? Or worse, if we accidentally swim into shark territory. I think we have all been fed this myth that we must always keep moving -- from school to work to extracurricular -- to dull the pain to numb the hurt to quelch the regret. Because if we stop, even for an instant, life will curl at our feet, roll us up like a rug. Will scrolling through miles of social media feed really make you a happier person? It's true that we must embrace change or risk being bogged down in our situations. Action is good but action without purpose is a waste of time and energy. To define purpose, you must be clear-headed. And, to find that clarity, you must commit to remaining still, to being content in your person, and to facing your demons rather than running away from them. So, yeah, keep swimming. But, make sure you are heading in the right direction first.
Finding Dory comes out this summer and I'd like to take a moment to remember one of Dory's most iconic lines from Finding Nemo: "When life gets you down do you know what you got to do? Just keep swimming!" That's right Dory, just keep swimming... but wait! How will we know if we are just swimming in circles? Or worse, if we accidentally swim into shark territory. I think we have all been fed this myth that we must always keep moving -- from school to work to extracurricular -- to dull the pain to numb the hurt to quelch the regret. Because if we stop, even for an instant, life will curl at our feet, roll us up like a rug. Will scrolling through miles of social media feed really make you a happier person? It's true that we must embrace change or risk being bogged down in our situations. Action is good but action without purpose is a waste of time and energy. To define purpose, you must be clear-headed. And, to find that clarity, you must commit to remaining still, to being content in your person, and to facing your demons rather than running away from them. So, yeah, keep swimming. But, make sure you are heading in the right direction first.
Monday, April 25, 2016
A Note to My Friends
I'm sitting here, crashed on my bed and I know I probably have some other homework assignment to do that I haven't yet looked at. I know its going to be a long night, not just for me but for most of you, too. We've each got our dreams and we've set them to sail in little rockets. Who knows where we will be 10 years, 15 years from now? We're in an interesting place, all of us together, like when it is pouring outside and a group of strangers huddle under a doorway, waiting for the clouds to pass and for real life to start again. It may seem like we are stuck right now but I know there is no one else I would rather be stuck with. If I'm fortunate enough to consider you in my small group of friends, you are the people that make me laugh at lunch everyday, no matter how hard the morning has been. You're the ones that make sure I eat after I've forgotten to all day. You selflessly help me with the homework I haven't done; you calm me down when I text you, worried and confused by this strange world. Even if I only share a few classes with you, the camaraderie of complaining about assignments and the frantic group chats at midnight motivate me to push harder the next day. I am inspired by each and every one of you, every day. You impress me with your superhuman athletic, artistic, and intellectual abilities. But, more than that, you teach me what it means to be a good human being. You teach me through example to be kind, thoughtful, caring, and open-minded. When you disagree with me, you force me to reevaluate my beliefs. It's stressful right now- testing season is upon us, bringing with it a load of adult responsibilities. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. But no matter what the final marks or results end up being, I will always be grateful for the time I have with you. The rain will stop soon and we will go off to our own cars, drive to our own different locations. But while we're here, thank you for taking me with you on this journey. You're the best.
Your friend,
Soumya
I'm sitting here, crashed on my bed and I know I probably have some other homework assignment to do that I haven't yet looked at. I know its going to be a long night, not just for me but for most of you, too. We've each got our dreams and we've set them to sail in little rockets. Who knows where we will be 10 years, 15 years from now? We're in an interesting place, all of us together, like when it is pouring outside and a group of strangers huddle under a doorway, waiting for the clouds to pass and for real life to start again. It may seem like we are stuck right now but I know there is no one else I would rather be stuck with. If I'm fortunate enough to consider you in my small group of friends, you are the people that make me laugh at lunch everyday, no matter how hard the morning has been. You're the ones that make sure I eat after I've forgotten to all day. You selflessly help me with the homework I haven't done; you calm me down when I text you, worried and confused by this strange world. Even if I only share a few classes with you, the camaraderie of complaining about assignments and the frantic group chats at midnight motivate me to push harder the next day. I am inspired by each and every one of you, every day. You impress me with your superhuman athletic, artistic, and intellectual abilities. But, more than that, you teach me what it means to be a good human being. You teach me through example to be kind, thoughtful, caring, and open-minded. When you disagree with me, you force me to reevaluate my beliefs. It's stressful right now- testing season is upon us, bringing with it a load of adult responsibilities. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that. But no matter what the final marks or results end up being, I will always be grateful for the time I have with you. The rain will stop soon and we will go off to our own cars, drive to our own different locations. But while we're here, thank you for taking me with you on this journey. You're the best.
Your friend,
Soumya
Monday, January 18, 2016
Epiphanies from Encounters with a Spider
Yesterday morning I woke up, walked over to the bathroom, and BAM! There in front of me was a black dime-sized spider wiggling up the bright blue wall. Now let me preface this by saying that I really don't like spiders. But my fear of spiders is somewhat different than most people's in the sense that as long as I can't see the spider, I am fine. I crept forward into the bathroom leaving a solid 2-3 foot gap between me and the spider. As I brushed my teeth, I could sometimes see the spider moving on the wall behind me through the mirror, and I let out tiny gasps. Somehow, I hurriedly finished brushing my teeth and scooted out of the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind me and letting out a sigh of relief. However, the experience gave me an epiphany. Living here in Michigan, in the winter months, it is rare to see creatures except for the occasional bird or squirrel. It is easy to begin feeling entitled, as if everything in the world belongs to you and is connected to you. The encounter with the spider was a jolting reminder that I share this world with so many other creatures: insects and animals, birds and humans. Nothing really ever belongs to me, neither my accomplishments nor my burdens. I simply coexist in a complicated equilibrium, each decision I take helping to shift the balance in one direction or the other. Spider or human, each of is on this Earth on a temporary basis. We have a finite number of days to make decisions, to harmonize ourselves to the rest of the world, to experience all that it can offer us. "I have decided to stick with love because hate is too great a burden to bear," said Martin Luther King Jr. And I agree with him because I might not understand a spider or a critter or another human being but I will still try to do my best to respect them. Love is the tempo that cause our hearts to beat in sync with every creature on Earth, large or small.
Yesterday morning I woke up, walked over to the bathroom, and BAM! There in front of me was a black dime-sized spider wiggling up the bright blue wall. Now let me preface this by saying that I really don't like spiders. But my fear of spiders is somewhat different than most people's in the sense that as long as I can't see the spider, I am fine. I crept forward into the bathroom leaving a solid 2-3 foot gap between me and the spider. As I brushed my teeth, I could sometimes see the spider moving on the wall behind me through the mirror, and I let out tiny gasps. Somehow, I hurriedly finished brushing my teeth and scooted out of the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind me and letting out a sigh of relief. However, the experience gave me an epiphany. Living here in Michigan, in the winter months, it is rare to see creatures except for the occasional bird or squirrel. It is easy to begin feeling entitled, as if everything in the world belongs to you and is connected to you. The encounter with the spider was a jolting reminder that I share this world with so many other creatures: insects and animals, birds and humans. Nothing really ever belongs to me, neither my accomplishments nor my burdens. I simply coexist in a complicated equilibrium, each decision I take helping to shift the balance in one direction or the other. Spider or human, each of is on this Earth on a temporary basis. We have a finite number of days to make decisions, to harmonize ourselves to the rest of the world, to experience all that it can offer us. "I have decided to stick with love because hate is too great a burden to bear," said Martin Luther King Jr. And I agree with him because I might not understand a spider or a critter or another human being but I will still try to do my best to respect them. Love is the tempo that cause our hearts to beat in sync with every creature on Earth, large or small.
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