Epiphanies from Encounters with a Spider

Yesterday morning I woke up, walked over to the bathroom, and BAM! There in front of me was a black dime-sized spider wiggling up the bright blue wall. Now let me preface this by saying that I really don't like spiders. But my fear of spiders is somewhat different than most people's in the sense that as long as I can't see the spider, I am fine. I crept forward into the bathroom leaving a solid 2-3 foot gap between me and the spider. As I brushed my teeth, I could sometimes see the spider moving on the wall behind me through the mirror, and I let out tiny gasps. Somehow, I hurriedly finished brushing my teeth and scooted out of the bathroom, closing the door firmly behind me and letting out a sigh of relief. However, the experience gave me an epiphany. Living here in Michigan, in the winter months, it is rare to see creatures except for the occasional bird or squirrel. It is easy to begin feeling entitled, as if everything in the world belongs to you and is connected to you. The encounter with the spider was a jolting reminder that I share this world with so many other creatures: insects and animals, birds and humans. Nothing really ever belongs to me, neither my accomplishments nor my burdens. I simply coexist in a complicated equilibrium, each decision I take helping to shift the balance in one direction or the other. Spider or human, each of is on this Earth on a temporary basis. We have a finite number of days to make decisions, to harmonize ourselves to the rest of the world, to experience all that it can offer us. "I have decided to stick with love because hate is too great a burden to bear," said Martin Luther King Jr. And I agree with him because I might not understand a spider or a critter or another human being but I will still try to do my best to respect them. Love is the tempo that cause our hearts to beat in sync with every creature on Earth, large or small.

I am the Universe and the Universe is Me- Happy New Year!

Apparently, each and every one of us contain the Universe within us; the minerals that make us up are created only in the cores of dying stars, the law of conservation of matter tells us that we are made up of the same particles as the brightest planets, the comets that dance through galaxies. The water that courses through our bodies flowed through the Ice Age glaciers, through the dinosaurs and other creatures long extinct... There is a Hindu myth about Lord Krishna who opens his mouth and shows his mother, Yashoda Maiya, the whole Universe inside. I read a story about a girl who said she writes a letter to the Universe every New Year's Eve. Why do we make such a big deal about this date? After all, isn't it just  another "X" on the calendar, another convenient human invention?  I think it is our fascination with numbers, our craving to compartmentalize and file the various parts of our lives in order to process them that makes us reassess the finality of the New Year and brings us closer to the realization of the Universe within us. I've changed a lot this year. I've learned the power of own voice, I've become more unapologetic and more willing to speak up for what I believe in, and I've learned to appreciate the people in my life more. I've consciously challenged my prejudices and become a kinder, more understanding and empathetic person. I'm starting to realize that "done is sometimes better than perfect," as my middle school counselor would say, that the little things I fret about aren't nearly as huge as I think they are. I've come to better terms with the idea that I am growing and evolving just as the world around me changes, and that's okay, it's okay to pursue different avenues and be happy in things I hadn't dreamed of before. I've learned to love myself, and through others, I've come to the realization that I must love my body, as well, because it is the only body I get- something I want to be more aware about in the New Year. Most of all, I'm ready to take the New Year by the reins, to be proud of the things I have already accomplished but also to go confidently in the direction of my dreams. I'm ready to be fueled by positive energies, to stop limiting myself, and to be more. I hold the Universe within me and so do you; we are limitless, powerful, magical, and capable of things we could never imagine. And I'm ready to chase those things into the New Year.

Seasons Greetings

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring — not even a mouse: The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. –Clement C. Moore

Christmas and the holiday season have always been magical for me. I'm the kind of person that goes all out for holidays- I love all the lights and ribbon, I devour Christmas movies, and I'm blasting holiday songs as soon as it's past Thanksgiving. My favorite Christmas Eve, we got to spend at Magic Kingdom in Disney World. We watched a late evening performance of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and then we stayed to watch the special lights and fireworks show. My dad planned the whole trip and I know he would have moved heaven and Earth just so that his princess could spend Christmas Eve at Cinderella's Castle. Although we're not Christian, Christmas time has always been synonymous for time with family, an opportunity to think about those less fortunate, and a desire to spread happiness and light to those around me. Over the years, we've developed our own holiday traditions- I've rarely ever missed a year of A Charlie Brown Christmas or snuggling in with a comforter to ring in the New Year with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin. Holiday dinners are a big deal and we are constantly trying to outdo ourselves. In the end, the holidays are about being grateful for the experiences of the past year and hopeful to everything the New Year has to offer. Our warmest wishes to you, this holiday season. Wherever you are, we hope your holidays are joyous and beautiful ♡

Love,
Soumya

        

           

 

Bobbing Seaside

A fishing bob is a buoyant, usually red, piece of cork used to suspend fishing line. The line is cast into the water and the bobber rests on top. As the waves lap around it, sometimes it remains fully submerged in water, other times it trembles just above, basking under a scorching sun. Sometimes, I like to think of human existence using the analogy of the bobber. Everyday, we are constantly bombarded by negativity and violence. We bounce along, contemplating our existential conflicts. We are one among billions of bobbers in an endless ocean. And sometimes it is so easy to slip under the water, to want to isolate yourself from all the troubles, to find solitude in the confines of your own silent bubble. It is easy to be overwhelmed by the tribulations of daily life and become caught in a cloud of cynicism. But no matter how much it wants to, the bobber can't stay under water and it emerges again into the light of day. In literature, the color red, like the bobber, signifies a beacon and a desire for attention. I think it is a beautiful thought that no matter how dark the world gets, we will send our beacons of light up, to let others know we are here. And we will ride the waves of our worries together.

Switching Out of Cruise Control

This summer, I started karate with my brother as part of my Ultimate Bucket List Challenge. The front wall of the karate school is a mirror. We begin performing all our motions facing this mirror and, just like in a dance or yoga studio, its purpose is to help us self-correct the mistakes we make in form, stances, and motion. Karate is all about self-discipline and focus. We are constantly correcting ourselves so that we can be stronger, more efficient, and maximize our power. Our respect for the art, our superiors, and our peers comes from how hard we work and how much dedication we have to doing the motions correctly. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a mirrored wall, a reflective surface where we can see what exactly it is that we are doing wrong. Still, it is our responsibility to analyze our lives and constantly strive to be the best possible versions of ourselves. Practice makes perfect and as a young person, I find my greatest weakness lies in my lack of practice living. Over the last couple weeks, as the demands from school, extra-curriculars, and other activities weigh down, I've learned that it is very easy to stop living and to start letting the events of of our day shape our lives. In effect, I find myself going into cruise control, tumbling around in whichever direction these external pressures take me. I don't want to hand over the reigns to my freedom so willingly. Although life will continue to be surrounded by all the things that are expected of me, I refuse to let these things control me. I am the master of my own destiny. Without a nudge to the steering wheel, a car will undoubtedly run off the path and into the nearest ditch, however noble its original intentions may have been. The road to discovering the best possible version of myself will be lost if I do not stop to evaluate the decisions I make on a day to day basis and the values I hold strong to my character. Here's to being our own greatest leaders.

Autumn Told Me Bedtime Stories

They are trees. But they are also hard candies: cherry red, bright orange, apple green; round and hard in their shiny tin cases. Brilliant yellow feathers cocked sideways in hat brims. Curving icicles, deep red tinged with frosty pink tips. Dark purple and olive green, gut-wrenching nostalgia. Liquid-fire down slick throats and brick-laden air that pulls you down as you suck in, turning cheeks rose. Silhouetted against a slate gray sky, oil pastel, heavy and dense, a blanket foddling us as we drift, drift, drift... and the leaves, tumbleweeds dancing 'cross cold barren land. The energy falling, dropping dangerously, suspended animation in deep blue oceans. Colorful skirts, swirling whirlwind, sleepwalking to the dark caves of sorcerers, moon full and heavy in the sky, quivering like a drop of water on your lip.

People on Pedestals

Paper Towns is a book about a boy named Q and his infatuation with his neighbor Margo. Q and Margo were friends many years ago but now Q just observes her from a distance. When Margo asks Q to come along one night to prank people in a spree of redemption, and then disappears the next day, Q is sure that she is some kind of goddess and all her acts have noble beginnings. The author, John Green, says he wrote the book specifically to combat what he calls the male gaze, which has been propagated in all romantic literature (see: "It is the East and Juliet is the Sun.") - men looking at women, instantly elevating them to heavenly proportions, and then being disappointed when they realize that they are just human.

The truth is, we are all Q in some sense. We see celebrities on t.v., we read about people in books, newspapers, and magazines, and we have an instant tendency to disproportion them into larger than life characters. We put people on massive pedestals and the great punch line is that we are personally offended when they inevitably don't live up to our expectations. We are naturally disposed to be all or nothing: we either "love" a person or despise them, there is no in between. Why are we so insistent in stuffing all these qualities into a single person and propping them up like mannequins in a show case? I think it is because we see something of ourselves and who we want to be in the future in these people. We need super heroes, someone to stealthily admire from far away, someone to use as a benchmark for all the things we want to fix in our lives. But I also think, all of us are a fine mixture of good and bad. We are all capable of being what we love and what repulses us. What if we became our own super heroes? What if we walked through life picking only the shining ripe cherries, snatching only the glimmering pearls and we put them inside ourselves?  What if we really truly decided to introspect and became our own benchmarks?  It is true that all of us are just human. But don't be misled by the just.