Trapped between Selves

Is it possible to annoy yourself so much that you can't even stand yourself anymore? When the girls in math or the group project partners are bothering you, you can ignore them -- ghost their messages, let their calls go straight to voicemail. You can rant about them behind their backs and subtweet them on Twitter. But what do you do when that person is the one person you can't get away from: yourself? Every thought, every action, ticks off something inside. But there's nowhere for that madness to go but inward, and it feels like ripping yourself apart and putting yourself back together, all at the same time. You try to drown out that voice, your voice. You're so careful. You put on headphones before you go to bed. You text everyone you know because it is so lonely not being able to talk to yourself. And every time, eventually, you patch up your differences, kiss and makeup. But each time you wonder, what if it's different this time?